Today I had the most difficult time going to church. It was a difficult day to begin with and I didn't think I could face people today. People are so kind and so concerned and I am so appreciative but sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and not talk to anyone. Today was one of those days. I suppose its good to talk about you to others. It's just difficult sometimes.
Last night I talked with Arlene for quite some time. She is so sweet and as much as you are alike it is also reassuring how different you are. Because you are unique and can never be replaced. But having Arlene here does help ease the pain. She aches for you too.
Sometimes I feel like I should be functioning better than I am. Why is my laundry so hard to complete, or making dinner, or keeping my house straightened. It's not like these tasks require much thought on my part but I can't seem to bring myself to do them. I just sit on the couch and stare sometimes, trying not to think of you. It's impossible though. My thoughts are with you and your memory 99% of the time and for the 1% of the time I'm not thinking about you I feel guilty.
