A few days ago I felt my first bout of Anger that you were gone. I really haven't felt angry yet. I've felt sad plenty and distraught plenty, but Anger....no. Well it hit me on Thursday and I took it out on everyone around me. Cameron got the worst of it. He always does with my emotional rollercoasters. It has been especially bad these last few weeks. He loves me though and supports me through everything. I'm so lucky to have him but it's just another painful reminder that Dad doesn't have you there to help him through this.
The Anger came and went quickly, but it was there. I felt angry that you left me and even more angry that you left my kids. Angry the Heavenly Father would take you from us. Angry that my kids wouldn't remember how incredible you are. Angry that I might forget memories of you. Angry that Dad has to live without you. Angry that you won't be there for Maddy's first dance. Angry that you won't be there for Anna's marriage. Etc. Anger doesn't do me a whole lot of good so i put it aside. I'm sure I will feel angry again soon, but for now I just hurt to see you.
